Tuesday, January 16, 2007
i declare the blog a dead one.. zzz.. so mani things to blog abt.. like how JJC rocks. and how much i like my new JJ friends.. yup. but too lazy.. just feel like ranting now.. feeling very vexed now.. so this would be a whole load of crap. ignore this post please if ur time is like extremely precious to you n if u do not wish to spend ur time reading boring rants.
oh, dont expect a gd flow of english too. this is pure ranting.
so yup, i applied to study in aus, lesson starts there on 31st Jan but i have yet to get the letter of offer, apply my visa, book a plane ticket, go for medical checkup. just great.. all thx to my wonderful agents. thx huh thx.. just as i tot my feelings could calm down abit, feeling totally lethargic now, my feelings, head and heart had all been on a roller coaster. and now, this stupid dumb problem crops up... i'm not sure i can stand this anymore, seriously. here i am sick, and still i have to deal with emotional and external problems. wth ok.
im putting on a brave front and not giving up because of dad, if not for dad, i would have long given up on this whole entire thing. to hell with the dumb ambition, seriously. dad's tired, i noe.. but he's trying hard to help, ferrying me to and fro, helping me solve problems, encouraging me when im like all about to give up. this is an extremely painful decision, to study in aus and leave my family behind.. nobody would understand because my family situation is nt the same as most of the people. and i can sae tt sis would surely suffer alot without me by her side. seriously, i feel fucking selfish lah, so i was not all that eager to apply for it. but dad had many long talks with me and after some reassurance and persuasion, i decided to go for it.. for some reasons also.
so now i am totally lost. mayb its heaven's will or smth tt i cant be a vet. first, i was relunctant to go because i cannot bear to leave my family behind. then, i was persuaded by nt only dad but my uncle too. den, i finally decided to go for it. was abit worried that i couldnt make it in time for the 1st intake but tt fellow told me it was okay. so, i submitted my application form. now, some idiot tell mi tt it might take 4-6 weeks and its almost impossible for me to make it for the first intake. n he muz sound so cynical. shit.
so, wad am i to do now? i am not even sure if i shud continue my 1st three months now lah, bloody ass. i am sorry, im juz feeling very annoyed, pissed, dissapointed, dejected, sad, sick and all kinds of negative feelings larh. URGHHHHHHHH!!! this frigging sux. maybe i shud go to TP and go get a frigging diploma in veterinary technology, wadeva the hell was tt.
NONO NO WAY MAN..
nw that my dream is so near to me, i shud catch it instead of letting it slip away. this is my passion, my dream tt i hav been longing for, for ages! ohmy, wad am i thinking. yes, i shud brace myself and for my ambition, i would not succumb to obstacles. i will NOT give up!
i wan to
thank talweez too, for all the things you have done and are going to do for me. THANKS.
i sound as if i have gone bonkers, dont i? zzzz..
with love
6:13 PM
